In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
