I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
