i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
