Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
