just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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