One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
