I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
