Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
