wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
