It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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