Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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