ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
