I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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