It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
