And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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