If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
