are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i love accidental penises.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
