I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
