Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
