So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
