No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
