quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
