worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
