"it" just moved
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
