? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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