K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
