I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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