hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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