I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
