Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
