dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
