I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Still dying that you shit outside
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
