dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The dick lei will go down in squad history
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
