How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
