Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize