so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
