Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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