Got a toothbrush?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
