Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
