I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
