Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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