Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
