ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
