he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
