Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
