One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
