He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
