The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
