There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
