Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The air was thick with penises
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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