whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Damn victory sex feels great
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