Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
